Filmmaker and historian Mark Rappaport once observed that a big chunk
of Hollywood history is about who almost made what movie, and we’ll
forever have to wonder what would have happened if Pedro Almodóvar had
made his English-language debut with “The Paperboy,” the Pete Dexter
novel he had in development for eons.
Seeing what Lee Daniels has done with the material only confirms that
Almodóvar may be the only living filmmaker (except maybe John Waters)
who could do justice to this lurid, purple tale of sex, scandal, secrets
and perspiration in late-1960s Florida. The legendary Spanish auteur
could have pushed the melodrama to the limit and made us take it
seriously, and he would certainly know how to choreograph the scene in
which the leading lady urinates on the besotted protagonist after he’s
been attacked by jellyfish.
But let’s stick with the matter at hand: Daniels’ “The Paperboy” is
something of an unholy mess — too jumbled and disjointed to take
seriously, but not over-the-top campy enough to qualify for the
midnight-movie circuit. Ludicrously obsessed with sex to often laughable
extremes, it’s the rare film that can be described as “horny.”
It’s the long hot summer of 1969 in a small town in Florida, and Jack
Jansen (Zac Efron), a former college swimming champ who’s been expelled
from school, delivers the local newspaper edited by his father — when
he’s not coursing underwater through the family pool or lolling about
the house in his tighty-whities, that is. (Daniels’ long and loving
shots of the latter will turn up in future doctoral papers on The Gaze
of the Gay Male Auteur.)

Jack’s reporter brother Ward (Matthew McConaughey) returns home from
Miami to investigate the arrest of trashy local swamp-dweller Hillary
Van Wetter (John Cusack), currently on death row after being found
guilty of killing a local sheriff. Ward is able to get Hillary to see
him by escorting Charlotte Bless (Nicole Kidman) to the jail.
Charlotte, despite her Bardot hairdo, frosted lipstick and hot-cha
miniskirts, is one of those lonelyhearts who writes to inmates, and she
and Hillary have become soulmates via the post office. Jack is
immediately smitten with this sun-kissed man-trap, so it pains him to
watch Charlotte and Hillary mime sexual activity at each other from
yards away, complete with Charlotte tearing open her pantyhose so that
Hillary can get a better look at her underwear.
Yes, it’s that kind of movie -- Daniels’ work here suggests his
whackadoo directorial debut “Shadowboxer” more than it does the
Oscar-nominated “Precious” -- and the Southern drawls and humid come-ons
just get thicker as the movie proceeds. And then of course there’s the
jellyfish scene in which Charlotte, who has spent the film deflecting
Jack’s interest, literally shoves away other women so that she may empty
her bladder on him.
It’s a testament to cinematographer Roberto Schaefer (who, with the
help of the art department, gets the 1969 color palette just right
throughout) that even this moment looks gauzy and sun-dappled, as Jack
fights to remain conscious.
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